Fashion...or something close to it

i have never been a fashionista. i've never really been intrigued by fashion. Growing up, our clothes were clean and ironed. That's it. No big deal about the labels that were on them. I look at clothes the same way now. My closet isn't packed with the latest trends. I have clothes that i can wear to work, clothes i wear to the club, clothes i lay around the house in, and clothes that don't fit but i refuse to throw away because i will fit them again someday.

the few times a year that I go out, i observe others and the things that they wear. it intrigues me. things that are considered fashionable make no sense to me. but again, i'm no fashionista so maybe i'm not supposed to understand. However, I do have a few questions that maybe some of my more fashion forward readers can answer to help me understand society:

1. When did it become okay to wear hairnets? Girl keep wearing them like they are the new in thing, but to me you look like you are about to serve me some mashed potatoes and gravy.

2. Are Reeboks back in style? Unless you are a nurse or work at White Castles, I thought it was unacceptable to wear Classics or Princess Reeboks.

3. Why are your pants so tight....and you are sagging. I dont' think you can do both. You should pick one or the other. To me, it looks like you have on your lil brothers pants and since you couldn't pull them up all the way, you just decided to wear them where they stopped and put a belt on.

4. Is it okay to wear more than one brand at a time? Back in my day, it was ILLEGAL to have on Polo and Tommy at the same time. We called you a walking advertisement. Now, you have on a Roberto
Cavalli dress, a Louis Vuitton bag, Chanel sunglasses and Gucci shoes. Is this acceptable? Or are you getting paid to advertise for Vogue?

5. Why do you have on a bag that costs $600 but you needed a loan to get into the club? You don't have $10? You need to take that bag to Rag-o-Rama and get some money....

6. Did you make that outfit? It looks like it.....

7. If you don't have crew socks, is it okay to roll down your tube socks and wear them anyway? No? I didn't think so.....

8. To all the straighties out there....when you sag, people can see your ass. I know you know this, but I dont' think you realize the gay boys are looking at your ass. Then you get mad if a gay dude is looking at you. Well, you were showing your ass off like "Look at my cakes, come and get it." So either pull your pants up or give the boy your phone number

9. To the big girls out there: Express, Forever 21, Urban Outfitters, Charlotte Russe, Bebe and Arden B don't carry your size. However Torrid and Lane Bryant do. Please stop going into skinny girl stores and trying to squeeze your fat ass into a 12 because it aint happening. You look dumb in the dressing room and you look dumb in the club. Stop it. you are making me look bad and pissing me off. I'm about to start handing out big girl violations. Oh, don't get mad at me. Be mad at them cheeseburgers your fat ass is eating as you read this....

and finally....
10. um....how do i put this...um....Everyone doesn't have "good hair". So um....why don't you get a relaxer or a hair cut. okay? ok.